SAINT THERESE OF LISIEUX CENTENARY REFLECTIONS
AUSTRALIAN DISCALCED CARMELITES NO. 8

The Bitter and the Sweet

ST. THERESE'S FIRST YEARS IN THE CARMELITE COMMUNITY

Imagine walking through the wards of a large city hospital. If you are familiar with such a situation then you would know that in each ward you would find a wide range of thoughts and attitudes amongst the hospital patients. You would encounter despair in some, hope in others, inspiring generosity and sometimes bitter selfishness. The many patients would all have suffering in common but each one would be unique in the way they continue to live in the midst of that suffering.
The deepest suffering often conies about when we begin to feel the basic building blocks of our lives being taken away. We build up a sense of who we are and of our life through our ways of living, acting and thinking. We build up a sense of our life through the familiar ways of other people in relationship with ourselves. The deepest suffering can knock down that sense of who we are and what our life is all about.
Our present way of life is changing: those close to us pass away, the energy of our youth subsides, our quick thinking can slow down, people come and go. In suffering we touch on the real truth that our life and the lives of those we love will not remain the same. All is destined to move on and eventually pass away. Suffering can make us face up to the most important questions in our lives: "Is what is being taken from me, in my suffering, simply lost and wasted away or is there some kind of value in what I am going through? Where is all of this leading to and what will be left of me in the end?"
In this reflection we will listen to the beginning of St. Therese of Lisieux's reflections on her early years as a Carmelite nun living in an enclosed monastery. Her thoughts are a weaving together of joys and sorrows: the joy of beginning to give her life to God as a nun, the struggle of living in an enclosed religious community, the difficulties of not being able to speak about her spiritual life and the sorrow of seeing her beloved father overcome by a terrible illness. In the midst of her reflections Therese uncovers her own unique and challenging attitude towards suffering:

My desire for suffering was answered, and yet my attraction for it did not diminish. My soul soon shared in the sufferings of my heart. Spiritual aridity was my daily bread and, deprived of all consolation, I was still the happiest of creatures since all my desires had been satisfied.
Story of a Soul, chapter 7
During Therese's first years in the Carmelite monastery her father, Louis Martin, began to experience a decline in health. He suffered from a painful tumour and also from serious kidney trouble which caused a wide range of problems which included memory loss, mood swings and irrational urges to run away.
Louis Martin was an important person in the spiritual life of young Therese. There is a strong connection between her experience of being loved by her father and her understanding of the way that God loved her. Her father was soft-hearted towards her. He looked on Therese as his princess and was ever-protective and ready to provide her with all that she needed. Just as Therese discovered God's love through the love of her father so, during those early years as a Carmelite nun, did she discover Christ's suffering within the heart of her father's suffering.
Like that of our Divine Master, Papa's glory of a day was followed by a painful passion and this passion was not his alone. Just as the sufferings of Jesus pierced His Mother's heart with a sword of sorrow, so our hearts experienced the sufferings of the one we cherished most tenderly on earth.
Story of a Soul, chapter 7
Some of us may struggle with the way Therese seems to write about suffering with an almost eager enthusiasm. What does she mean when she says she desires suffering and finds a certain satisfaction in the deprival that comes through suffering? The answer to this question is found in the suffering of Jesus.
Therese is very Christ-centred in her understanding of suffering. Jesus' suffering and ultimate death on the Cross remains at the heart of her reflection on her own suffering and that of her father. She sees suffering, through the eyes of faith, as opening up the opportunity to be with Jesus and to offer ourselves, with Jesus, to the Father. How can we understand this way of seeing suffering?
At the beginning of the reflection we considered the changing nature of our life: someday all that we have at this present moment will have gone. God entered into the passing, changing movement of our life by becoming like us in all things but sin - in the person of Jesus. In Jesus God has shared in all that we go through. The life of Jesus was full of the unfolding changes and the passing away that we all experience. He went through His life, and finally lost His life on the Cross, with the desire to give Himself to His Heavenly Father. The Heavenly Father received and accepted Him. The unavoidable changes and the final loss of life that we all go through were transformed, by Jesus own death, to become moments where we can be given to God. In union with Jesus our daily experiences of "losing ourselves" have become moments of "being given to God."
Therese's Christ-centred view of suffering tapped into this truth. As she reflected back on the time when her father, Louis, was being stripped of so much through his suffering she recognised that this was really about her father being gradually gathered into the deep, hidden heart of God. Louis' life was not wasting away to nothing but, rather, was being gathered up and claimed as a much loved gift by God.
Papa had just made a donation to God of an altar, and it was he who was chosen as victim to be offered with the Lamb without spot. - Story of a Soul, chapter 7
Therese looked back and believed that her father, through his suffering, was being gathered up into the acceptable offering of Jesus to the Heavenly Father. This provides us with a good basis for understanding Therese's way of recognising God's active love in our experience of suffering. Nothing that is taken away is lost. All that seems to be lost is, in fact, gradually being taken into the hidden depths of God's embrace. God's active desire to receive us is the transforming final word that can make our suffering a pathway - in and through Jesus - to eternal life.
The little flower transplanted to Mount Carmel was to expand under the shadow of the cross. The tears and blood of Jesus were to be her dew, and her Sun was His adorable Face veiled with tears. Until my coming to Carmel, I had never fathomed the depths of the treasures hidden in the Holy Face. - Story of a Soul, chapter 7

THE FIRST YEARS AS A CARMELITE

I found the religious life to be exactly as I had imagined it, no sacrifice astonished me and yet, as you know, dear Mother, my first steps met with more thorns than roses! Yes, suffering opened wide its arms to me and I threw myself into them with love. - Story of a Soul, chapter 7
Therese experienced various difficulties as a young nun. Looking back she describes the Superior of the community as being "VERY SEVERE without her even knowing it.." Therese was often misunderstood, at times corrected for faults she had not committed, she had difficulty talking about her spiritual life and she only had fleeting contact with one of the few people whom she felt understood and could direct her. In the first years living in the monastery Therese was often only noticed when a superior thought she needed correction. In many ways, throughout her religious life, she was often passed by and unnoticed.
Out of this whole experience there gradually emerged a spiritual teaching most often known as the Little Way. We have already reflected on Therese's thoughts on suffering: all that seems to be lost is, in fact, being gathered into the heart of God. Therese waits to teach us whenever we are misunderstood, lose face, are falsely accused or are left ignored and unnoticed. Our daily sufferings and losses are an encounter with God who desires to take a little more of ourselves, each day, into the hidden depths of His Heart. Each day presents opportunities to let go of something in our lives so that we might be given more fully to God. In union with Jesus this letting go, these small sacrifices of our daily lives, can make a positive difference in drawing others closer to God.
Our daily life is God's chosen work-place where the ever present God waits to give Himself more fully to us and also waits to totally receive us as a gift of love. God desires to work through everything that we go through in our life and God can bring about good even through the unavoidable difficulties and suffering which we all experience. This is just as we hear in St. Paul when he writes that all things work for the good of those who love God (Rom 8:28).

Why are there contemplative Religious orders in the Church?
The church exists because Jesus draws people to himself and as they are drawn to Jesus they become one people, a community of believers who are brothers and sisters in Christ.
People who love each other share everything - they become so much part of each other's life that their mind and heart become a home where that other person belongs. Where there is true love the presence and loving influence of one person is shown through the one who loves. The presence of that other person is shown through words and actions, through expressions and mannerisms, of the lover.
Jesus is really present in the Church as a loved one in the minds and hearts of believers. Because of this relationship of love, the Church shares in the destiny of Jesus. It is formed and shaped by all that Jesus is and by all that he does in his life, death and resurrection. In the life of the church Jesus continues to be present in the world loving, healing, forgiving, praying and offering himself as a gift of love to the heavenly Father.
Every Christian vocation involves love of Jesus which leads, more and more, to a sharing in the life of Jesus. Loving him leads us to follow him, to share in his destiny, so that our lives become a visible sign of his action in our world.
The holy Spirit draws particular people to share in particular aspects of Jesus' life, death and resurrection. Contemplative orders exist because some people are drawn to be with Jesus as he goes off to solitary places to pray to his heavenly Father. People often speak about their reason for joining a contemplative order as being based on a desire for a life of prayer.
The Church has always cherished and valued the presence of contemplative orders such as Therese's order, the Discalced Carmelites, this is because the Church knows that it needs to have a loving heart in prayerful communion with the life-giving presence of God.

A VOCATIONS PRAYER
Lord Jesus, source of my life, shed your clear light on my mind and heart so that I may hear and respond to your call.
St. Therese pray that I might have strength of soul in following Jesus and loving him now and forever. Amen.

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