SAINT THERESE OF LISIEUX CENTENARY REFLECTIONS
AUSTRALIAN DISCALCED CARMELITES NO. 5

Heaven in My Soul
ST. THERESE'S FIRST COMMUNION
Christians do not believe in an impersonal god who looks down on us from a vast distance with disinterest. We do not believe in a god who uses us like pieces in a game of chess. Christians put their faith and hope in a God who was revealed one night in an upper-room in Jerusalem and on the following day at a place called Golgotha. Jesus gathered His disciples in an upper-room on the night before he died on the cross. He took bread and wine, said the blessing and gave them to His disciples saying "This is my Body" and "This is my Blood." In these simple words and actions the desire of Jesus was revealed: He wanted to give Himself totally to those He loved. He wanted to give Himself so that those He loved would be filled with His strength, love and forgiveness. His desire on that night was that of a passionate lover who wants to be totally given to the beloved.
The great desire of Jesus pushed Him hard against the wall of human rejection and misunderstanding. He was moved by His Heavenly Father, through the love of the Holy Spirit, to be given to a world that could not receive Him. On the cross the desire of God was pushed against the deepest hardness of human rejection. The words and actions of Jesus during the Last Supper were shown to be true as His life was poured out from the Cross. Jesus' death was the passionate offering that He spoke about during the Last Supper as He said "This is my Body" and "This is my Blood." He made a gift of His life to us through His death on the Cross. He made His death the final, passionate giving of Himself into the depths of those He loved.
The great saints of the Church did not become saints simply by their own power or self-motivation. They became saints because of the overpowering life of Jesus whom they had received. We find in the writing of a saint, like Therese of Lisieux, a tender and intimate appreciation of Jesus' presence and the strength of Jesus' desire to give Himself. She was fascinated by the love of God which she discovered as Jesus came to her in the Eucharist. We can hear this in the writing of Therese, in Chapter 4 of the Story of a Soul, as she remembers the joy of her First Communion:
How sweet was that first kiss of Jesus! It was a kiss of love; I felt that I was loved, and I said: "I love You, and I give myself to You forever!" There were no demands made, no struggles, no sacrifices; for a long time now Jesus and poor little Therese looked at and understood each other. That day, it was no longer simply a look, it was a fusion; they were no longer two, Therese had vanished as a drop of water is lost in the immensity of the ocean. Jesus alone remained; He was the Master, the King.
Story of a Soul, chapter 4.

Therese looked back on her First Communion and thought of it as "a kiss of love." In her reflection she recognised that the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist was not a cold, unchanging presence. She saw that the Eucharist was the presence of Jesus actively loving her. In fact, Therese was often fascinated with the image of Jesus' life poured out as a gift from the Cross: Jesus' life-giving presence was like a river which she desired to totally receive. She dreaded the thought of that gift being un-received and wasted. She quite often writes about the joy of being lost in Jesus like a "drop of water is lost in the immensity of an ocean."
Therese's deep sense of the activity of God's love flowing into her through her Holy Communion had a big impact on the way she lived and related to others. We will see in later reflections that she became a woman full of holy desires: the desire to preach, to be a missionary and even to be a martyr. Basically the joyful inflowing of Jesus' presence awoke and shaped, in Therese, the desire to pass on that presence of Christ's life to others.
In Chapter 4 of the Story of a Soul, Therese sets the scene for her First Holy Communion. She spends quite a lot of time in this chapter writing about the changing, unreliable side of life which she began to discover as a child. She was hungry for the kind of love that passing friendships could not deliver - in a childhood full of so much loss and change Therese hungered for a deep and dependable love. She hungered for a relationship where the great desire and love which she felt in her own heart could be truly answered with the deep felt love of Another:
My heart, sensitive and affectionate as it was, would have easily surrendered had it found a heart capable of understanding it. I tried to make friends with little girls my own age, and especially with two of them. I loved them and they, in their turn, loved me insofar as they were capable. But alas! how narrow and flighty is the heart of creatures! Soon I saw my love was misunderstood. … How can I thank Jesus for making me find "only bitterness in earth's friendships!" With a heart such as mine, I would have allowed myself to be taken and my wings to be clipped, and then how would I have been able to "fly and be at rest?"
Story of a Soul, chapter 4.

As a young nun Therese looked back on her disappointments and actually saw that they contained a hidden blessing. How could there be a blessing in being let down by her friends and in not having her deeply felt love reciprocated? Therese looked back on her childhood and saw that her many disappointments were like guideposts which kept her directed towards God who was the only true and full answer to her longing. Each disappointment reminded her that God was the One she was looking for and who alone could fully answer the hunger of her heart. Each disappointment opened up the space within her where God was waiting to enter in. In Therese's First Communion, and the many that followed in her life, her deep hunger met that total desire of Jesus to give Himself which we pondered at the beginning of this reflection.
It is not to remain in a golden ciborium that He comes to us each day from heaven; it's to find another heaven, infinitely more dear to Him than the first: the heaven of our soul, made to His image, the living temple of the adorable Trinity!
Story of a Soul, chapter 5.

The story of Therese can help us in many ways. First of all she can teach us a way of seeing and reflecting on Jesus, particularly the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. She shows us that Jesus is there for each of us, desiring to be given into the depths of our hearts. Therese's sense of the Eucharist can help us to focus on the power of Jesus' love flowing into us through the self-giving words and actions of the Last Supper which were then fulfilled in His handing over of life to us through His death on the Cross.
Therese also teaches us how to look on disappointments from the point of view of our relationship with God. Our disappointments teach us a great deal about our own hearts. Disappointment happens because of our struggle to find someone or something in which we can place our hope. Disappointment uncovers the unfinished business of the searching in our lives and the still unsatisfied hunger of our hearts.
It can be helpful to ask St. Therese to support us in hearing what God is saying to us during our times of searching. For example, during times of disappointment we might prayerfully reflect in God's loving presence: Does this disappointment in my life tell me that I have been looking for something which only God can give? Is God trying to wake me up and show me that I need to readjust my priorities so that I am directed more truly to the Lord in all that I say and do? Have I lost touch with Jesus in the intimacy of Holy Communion and the other Sacraments? Do I need to give some time to remembering the way that Jesus has seen me, loved me and given Himself to me? Have I been depriving myself of the full nourishment that can only be found in God's love?


PRAYER TO JESUS IN THE BLESSED SACRAMENT
Lord Jesus Christ, you have taught us that those who come to you will never hunger. Through the intercession of St. Therese give us a deeper awareness of your powerful desire to share your life with us. Let the river of your love, from your broken body on the cross, flow into our hearts, our minds and our daily lives. give us a deep love and desire for your presence in the Blessed Sacrament both now and forever. Amen.


THE EUCHARIST IN THE POETRY OF
ST. THERESE OF LISIEUX

In previous reflections we have discovered that St Therese was a young woman with a powerful and creative imagination. As a child she won her fellow school-children over with her ability to tell stories. As a young nun, in an enclosed contemplative community, she turned her creative mind towards the powerful presence of Christ in the Eucharist.
Therese gazed on the Eucharist and believed that her own life and destiny and the life and destiny of the rest of the community, in relationship with Jesus, could be discovered and seen in the actions carried out in the celebration of the Mass. She expressed the riches, uncovered through her loving gaze, in the poetry which she composed for her community.

… … O my Divine King
I am a bunch of grapes
who should disappear for you...
it's in the wine-press of suffering
that I shall prove my love to you...

... ... I am chosen
among the grains of pure wheat
who lose their life for Jesus...
great good is my ravishment!

Translated from the poem "Mes Desirs aupres de Jesus cache dans sa Prison d'Amour"

As we can see in the above lines of poetry, Therese understood her own spiritual journey by thinking of the journey of the grapes which were crushed to become the wine which would be consecrated to become the Blood of Christ. She would often think of the circumstances of life, the small daily acts of sacrifice and loving self-giving, as being food which could be given to the Child Jesus. In many ways she explored the depths of her relationship with God through various images. In some ways she thought of herself as joining Mary in the intimate, maternal love and self-giving in answer to the Child Jesus' hunger. The beautiful fulfilment of this image was the transformation of this self-giving into the gift of Jesus Himself. At other times she would think of herself as a helpless child unable to do anything without calling out to her Heavenly Father. These images pointed towards the unfolding truth which would emerge through the way she lived and the way she endured her suffering and finally died at the age of 24.


Extracts taken from THE STORY OF A SOUL by St. Therese of Lisieux,
ICS Publications, Washington. Reflections by Robert Donnelly
© 1997, 2001 Australian Discalced Carmelite Friars

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