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Food for Prayer

Let us recall the teaching of St. Teresa of Avila: "Mental prayer is'an intimate sharing between friends."(14) "The more advanced you see you are in love for your neighbor, the more advanced you will be in the love of God."(15) And again, "pay very close attention, for when among the favors God grants in the prayer of perfect contemplation'there doesn't arise in the soul a very resolte desire to pardon any injury however grave it may be and to pardon it in deed when the occasion arises, do not trust much in that soul's prayer."(16) Yet my young friend seems to affirm exactly the opposite. At this point it is necessary to distinguish prayer from food for prayer. The soul (anima) gives life to the body, and ordinary food becomes nourishment for this life. Likewise, the life of prayer is the love born of God (see 1 Jn 4:7). But the food needed to nourish this love and sustain the life of prayer is found in the events of each day. Success or failure, happiness or unhappiness, joy or bitterness, all of which form the web of our existence, help in nourishing prayer and, in turn, prayer helps our human growth. There is nothing, not even sin itself negligence, anger, hatred that cannot become prayer. Even those who know that to live is to love, experience sentiments of hatred within their hearts from time to time. So they secretly weep over their own misery and, in the grip of the anger provoked by their inability to forgive, they resent and feel threatened by Jesus's words: "[Forgive] not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy- seven times" (Mt 18:22). In truth, everyone feels in daily reflection that not all our thoughts are necessarily centered on God's love. Even in prayer that ought to be a moment of friendly conversation, are we not sometimes overwhelmed by feelings of anger or hatred over which we have no control? Yet even then it cannot be affirmed that prayer is absent, and we must be careful to avoid the temptation to abandon it.

Persons of good will are no exception; they too are subject to inevitable hurts and misunderstandings. That's life! Air and light are not the only elements of sustenance. Human beings do not live solely on air and light. "Cursed is the ground because of you; in toil shall you eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you" (Gen 3:17-18). The food we eat needs to be cleaned and cooked and even after being prepared and digested is not assimilated without waste. If this is true for the body's nourishment, how much more so for the soul's. God gives us the chestnut but it is wrapped in a prickly shell from which we must extract it. If, for fear of the prickles, we throw it away, we will not be able to eat the fruit. The criticism and the antipathy we perceive in others resemble the prickly outer shell of the chestnut. If in accepting them we humbly take a look at ourselves, we will come to enjoy the hidden fruit.

At times God too seems to give us stones impossible to digest. In these moments think of the pearl oyster: If a grain of sand that it normally cannot assimilate accidentally penetrates within its shell, the oyster does not reject it. Instead it retains the grain of sand within itself for a long time, constantly bathing it with its secretions. In due time a magnificent pearl is made from the grain of sand. In like manner the animosities and antipathies that make their way into our hearts are seemingly indigestible pebbles. However, if we keep them wrapped, as it were, in our prayer, they will become pearls of love.

Gathering these aversions in my heart,

They will be transformed into flowers

That I will offer at the altar.

Jukichi Yagi

Prayer provokes this miracle of love. The person who prays can use everything to advantage. Indeed, what appears to be indigestible can become real nourishment for prayer.